Small talk tips for introverts

As an introvert, small talk can be a struggle. It can easily feel overwhelming to talk and yet say nothing of importance. Small talk doesn’t always feel like a very authentic way of communication. It doesn’t allow us to listen and analyse in order to say something meaningful. Because of that, small talk can easily feel draining and uncomfortable for introverts.

That being said, ignoring small talk as an introvert might make for some awkward silence while waiting for the elevator. Or in the car. A lot of places, actually.

If you’re an introvert, talking about unimportant stuff like the weather might be your worst nightmare. But it’s certainly a better option than dealing with awkward silence, at least for me.

Below, you’ll find a couple of easy strategies to handle small talk as an introvert. I really hope they help!

Tell a related story

The first small talk tip for introverts is something I learnt from my extroverted friend. She’s always mastering awkward social situations with such ease!

Here’s an example: My friend came to my house to meet my parents for the first time. When she arrived, my dad was repairing the microwave. He excused himself for being occupied and explained what had happened to the microwave.

Now, this is a typical social situation where I wouldn’t know what to say. But my friend started telling the story of how she once broke a microwave by setting a croissant with butter on fire (yes, that actually happened).

This response made for a nice little conversation that was just long enough for a first meeting. Everyone laughed, my parents loved her – what more does one want?

I have used this technique ever since and I can assure you that it works like a charm! Granted, people won’t always be super interested in your stories. But that’s okay because it breaks the awkward silence and puts everyone (yourself included) much more at ease.

You can talk about a story related to the situation you’re in, what another person said, or just a random experience you had that morning. Just pick an appropriate, casual topic and say something that will break the silence.

It’s definitely a decent way to make small talk as an introvert.

Try follow-up questions

Telling a story is a great way to avoid awkward silence. But sometimes, the other person starts talking first – and that’s when the situation becomes a lot easier!

Let’s be real: people love talking about themselves. If you listen carefully and show interest, they’ll probably say more. And they’ll think you’re nice! It’s truly a win-win situation, because we as introverts often love to listen. Instead of dealing with uncomfortable small talk, you’re simply asking thoughtful follow-up questions.

Let’s look at an example: The person told you that they didn’t get much sleep last night. Now, you ask whether they went out, or if their cat or baby woke them up. If you’re lucky, they’ll follow up with a description of their night. At this point, even if you can’t relate to their experience at all, you just say “oh” and “cool” and “oh, no” in the right places and you’ll be fine.

And the best part? You’ll get to know them better and maybe you’ll even become friends!

Ask questions to break the silence

If you have never seen a person before, asking questions to break the silence might be very weird. Imagine you meet a new person in the elevator and they start questioning you about your plans for the night? Weird. When you don’t know a person at all, there’s really no need to talk.

But let’s say you’ve been introduced or at least know who the other is. A friend of a friend, a co-worker you’ve seen around… Staying silent might not be an option. So, questions to the rescue! How does the person know your friend? What exactly is their job? Have they got any plans for the holidays?

Again, asking questions should get the other person talking and get you off the hook. The perfect way to make small talk as an introvert!

Plus, you might actually end up having an interesting conversation. These social rituals are not all worthless.

Let people talk

Sometimes, people start talking to you just because they feel like talking. It could be neighbours, other patients in a doctor’s waiting room, or even random people on the bus. It happens to me all the time!

Usually, they are perfectly happy when I just smile and don’t say anything. In fact, they almost seem annoyed when I reply! It’s a win-win for small talk haters like me because I don’t have to do anything.

I’m not going to lie though, I absolutely hate when random people start speaking to me. It makes me super uncomfortable and I can’t wait to get away. But at least I don’t have to do any small talk myself, right?

I hope you found this article helpful! If you did, be sure to share these small talk tips for introverts with your friends. 🙂