Did you ever feel like your happiness depended on someone else’s actions? Maybe you were desperately waiting for your boss to finally give you a promotion. Maybe you were counting on your partner to find that perfect gift for your birthday. Or maybe you just noticed how someone who was going through a bad period would take you right down with them.
Putting your happiness in someone else’s hands is not fun. If they do X, you’ll be in a great mood. If they do Y, they’ll probably ruin your day. In the meantime, all you can do is sit around and wait.
Doesn’t this feel wrong? It’s your life, after all. Shouldn’t you be the one in charge of your own happiness?
Well, I do believe that you should. Moreover, I actually think that no one else is better suited for the job!
No one else is you, so you must be in charge of your happiness
Isn’t it great that we’re all unique and no two people in the world are exactly the same? Most of us probably think it is.
But while we theoretically know that we’re all different, we tend to forget what this actually means in everyday life.
Sure, a lot of of values are shared by others, and we might have even more in common with people close to us. But that doesn’t change the fact that they’re not us!
Do you see where I’m going with this? If no one thinks exactly how we do, no one can figure out how exactly they can make us happy. We ourselves are best suited to be in charge of our own happiness.
So instead of having unrealistic expectations about what others should do for you, ask yourself: what can I do for myself and them?
Take action instead of waiting around. Not only will you never feel helpless when someone fails to give you what you need, but you’ll start appreciating other people’s efforts more if your happiness doesn’t depend on them!
Ask for the things you want to create your own happiness
Have you ever noticed how most of your thoughts revolve around you? I mean, you are you, so that’s kind of normal. But it also means that everyone else spends most of their day focusing on themselves, too. Them, not you.
Your boss doesn’t necessarily think about the fact that you might eventually want a promotion, even if they would totally agree that you deserve one.
Your partner might not notice your implicit insinuations about that gift you’d like for your birthday even if he or she is desperately searching for something to get you.
The truth is that no one will ever know what you want as well as you. Sometimes they can guess, sometimes they are left wondering. But in any case, the best way to get exactly what you want is to ask for it. Only then can you create your own happiness.
Ask your boss for that promotion that you deserve (and if you don’t get it, look for a better job!). Ask your partner for that gift. Tell people what you expect of them, instead of hoping that they will somehow figure it out on their own.
Asking for what you want drastically increases the chance of getting it. You want to be in charge of your own happiness, so just do it!
Focus on what you can control to stop being unhappy
Relying on other people to make you happy is risky. First of all, everyone has their own life, and you shouldn’t expect anyone’s life to revolve around you.
Second of all, all of us have many different roles: we’re our parent’s children, our husband’s or wife’s partner, our children’s parent, our bosses’ employee, etc. With all these roles come different responsibilities that all need to be accommodated within 24 hours a day.
The one person who can best accommodate your needs is you. You know what you want, and you have the power to get it. So why not be in charge of your own happiness?
Relying on yourself to make your dreams come true not only makes you a much more positive person, but it also gives you a sense of control over your own destiny. You will no longer blame others for your misfortune, nor will you wait for someone to give you an opportunity.
Instead, you can finally take matters into your own hands and work towards your goals. You’re the one creating your future, creating your own happiness. A
Don’t try to pour from an empty cup
We’ve talked about why you’re the best candidate to be in charge of your own happiness. But there’s more!
You know the feeling when everyone is expecting something from you, and you’re constantly running around and trying to make others happy?
Well, people probably won’t tell you to slow down and take a break. Not because they don’t care about you, but because they simply don’t know how you feel. It’s up to you to decide what you can give, and when you need to take a break and take care of yourself.
Self-care is not selfish: instead, it gives you the opportunity to recharge and gain more energy that you can then pass on the everyone around you.
Being in charge of your own happiness means that if someone close to you is going through a bad time, they won’t take you down with them. Instead, you will have the force to lift them up.
You can’t pour from an empty cup, so be sure to refill yours whenever you need it!
And the positive thing about it? You’ll stop draining energy from others, and your relationships will be much healthier and balanced!
So what do you think? Do you agree that it’s so much easier to create your own happi